Should I Get to Work?

I just saw Linda Hirshman, the author of Get to Work, on Fox. I am trying to understand her opinions before I dismiss them in disgust. She does appear to have a brain in her head...I might even read the book, because I find myself a bit interested in "the other side." The side that I really pay little attention to in my daily life - the side that has, by now, stopped asking me, "So, when are you going back to work?" They've given up hope on me and sometimes I have to wonder if they're right in doing so. This is a bad time to discuss the topic with me, as I am suffering at the moment from "too much house and children" disease. It's a mental condition that peaks after the winter and a busy spring that is cured only with things like weeks of camping in the mountains of Montana or significant hours spent in the city visiting museums and dining in fine restaurants - with adults.

~Sigh~ I have been wiping hinies, waggling my finger about schoolwork, attending child athletic events, driving children, feeding children, fill in the blank-ing children, slathering peanut butter for children for years now. Is it bliss on Earth? C'mon. But it is usually less blissful when something else is going on in my life that is bothersome...these things begin to "work" on me and I have that, "Why don't I just send the kids to school and GO *be all that I can be*? Or heck at least get dressed before 10 ...pm." Like I said, those are the bad days.

I have been finding joy in flower gardens, children's books, little boys and fishing hooks...."Waltons nights", Star Wars fights, Bagel bites and bleaching whites...I believe in children being able to sleep till they wake and not being dragged out to the car half asleep so that someone else can watch over them while I go make money and "serve society", I believe in having a schedule that figures in long talks with my ailing teenager over two cups of tea and Letterman. I believe in children believing their innate needs are more important than being driven to activities in an SUV. There I go, waxing poetic.

I believe that raising children is serving society. And I believe that sentence should be followed by a "DUH!" Maybe Linda Hirshman mentions this in her book, it must be in there somewhere. She mentioned Power and Money first and only when she was making her initial point. Power and Money. This is why I have to read her book. I just can't imagine someone going out in public, without blushing, and announcing that she believes mothers make a mistake by choosing to nurture children before seeking power and money. I am serving society and when my kids grow up and become real people (that's a joke) y'all will see how well I've served society!

~Pause to pray and beg that my kids grow up to be decent human beings and not prisoners and not cocky loud mouths all about money and prestige and power and big muscles and fame and fortune and ruling the world...please, please, please...oh, and let Seth pass high school and get into college, fingers crossed, blowing on a dried dandelion, wishing on a star~ Okay. Now.

My nine year old just slept over a friend's house. Every time he goes there, the parents - the father was in the Navy, son is in the Naval academy, mother a teacher - compliment him up and down. They rave over how polite and wonderful he is. These things, which happen often, help me believe my time isn't wasted. I think my oldest son's communications teacher said it best when she called me halfway through the year. She said that Seth has a quality she rarely sees - courage, self-worth, character, always following his head instead of the crowd and yet a friend to everyone. She said that she is blessed to be able to spend her days with children, but it is rare to never that she comes across a child like Seth. She told me that my son reminds her of a line out of "The Outsiders" - Stay Gold. She just hopes he "stays gold." She wrote that in his yearbook, she recommended him for the Citizenship Award and told me "not one other teacher disagreed."

What she told us, how she perceived this child was the reason I homeschooled. I didn't do it for future grades and academic accolades, or because I could prepare him for the SATs better than school. I did it so that I could raise a whole human being. I didn't do it perfectly, I have my share of shame in the parenting department. I failed miserably at some things and it hurts to know that. I did want to do it perfectly because I thought it was that important. But I didn't see "wholeness" coming out of hours spent on some neighbor's living room floor with four other kids from four other houses, or prepackaged curriculum spoon-fed by prepackaged instructors to prepackaged classrooms, full of young human beings craving to taste real life NOW sitting at prepackaged desks.

For my kids I wanted dirt, rain, wind, the luxury of barefeet in puddles of mud on lazy gray afternoons. Family, grandparents, stories, traditions, time, sun, clouds, storms, peace, quiet, interests, personal motivation, curiosity, practice without pressure, experimentation with failures and successes gone ungraded. Breath, life - moment by moment structured and unstructured. And I wanted the option of doing that in pajamas, with homemade waffle batter stuck between toes and the Great Dane slobbering on the pages of The Hardy Boys.

Why? Because I want my children to become the men God created them to be. Frankly, sometimes I think I should have been more structured. But I don't think gettin' with someone else's program is what kids need every single day of their lives. Sometimes it seems people don't even care what the "program" is, just so their kids are busy and accomplishing something or other, doing homework all night and weekend. But I don't think that. I know they need to listen to the voices of silence in the upstairs hallway while they walk their toes up my freshly painted yellow walls. Because that's when they hear God, or the twinges within that echo God's call. I think it's hard to hear the important things and become the important things while lining up for cafeteria, taking standardized tests, being shuffled off to day care, waiting longingly to be picked up at the end of an exhausting day without your blanket. There is a lot of "dead space", a lot of down time that would make some high powered people nervous, I'm sure. But then there is creativity, bursting knowledge, striving for self-created goals, flow - all driven by the person whose personhood has been respected and cherished.

I took a taxi to Kindergarten as a child. I got chased around a daycare playground by boys I didn't know and couldn't figure out whether to trust. I spent hours with my loving grandmother and didn't come to know my own mother as much. I wondered often if I'd be the last one picked up. I wondered if the people in the school office could spy on us through the speaker above the door. Though I was successful and liked in school, I was forever confused at the meaning of all the time I spent there. I knew I could have used my time better - I had life to live! But my mom worked, she was a teacher, as was my father. And they have good pensions to show for it. And they have a daughter who doesn't work and who will take them in when they can no longer care for themselves. I don't want to warehouse my parents or my children if I can help it. I wonder who'll take care of Linda Hirshman. Perhaps there is a good chance she'll be able to buy all she needs and craves at 94 with her money and power.

Perhaps I can find a balance in Proverbs 31. Have you ever read this!? This is a woman who works and loves. Incredibly, she's the model of the modern woman -she really does "do it all!" Inspiring!

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.