Spring Flings
#I'm laid up with a sore knee.#
Could you hear that through my clenched teeth? You see, well let me take you back to the beginning, I've got the time. I hurt my knees in high school while running track. I did not stop running when my knees hurt, I carried a jar of ice spray and just bent down, sprayed the pain away and kept running! You'd think I would have been smarter than that, but actually I am dumber than most people think. I signed up for track my junior year and my track coach caught me in the hall and chewed me out. I was a good runner, I went to states, set the school record and won most valuable runner my freshman year and the school coach wouldn't let me run on his team. As a matter of fact, he looked at me like I was a complete idiot for sneaking my name onto the list. So, THAT's how bad my knees are.
Since my junior year of high school I've had to be vewy vewy careful of exercising. For instance, I don't do lunges...if I run at all (which I have from time to time, because sometimes I can't resist) I run on a rubberized track with vewy small steps and work my way up in distance vewy vewy slowly over weeks and months. Usually I walk instead. But sometimes I bowl. Are you through shuttering and wincing??? I know, it's crazy. Friday night, through two games - in which I bowled 150 and 134, probably my best games ever, considering I bowl about once every three years - my knees were fine. As a matter of fact, I didn't even THINK of my knees, it was my neck I was worried about. You see, when I was 21 I was in a terrible car accident...er, that's another post. So, after I bowled these two harrowing games I walked to the ladies room and then *shutter, gulp* I walked back. Ladies and gentlemen, I can no longer recommend walking back from the ladies room in a bowling alley. As I returned to our spot I felt some crunchies in my right knee. Those of you who have crunchies in your knees understand. Those of you who don't - oh, go take a long run on an asphalt track and enjoy yourselves.
Usually, I have one crunchy and I can manipulate my knee and it goes back into its hiding spot. But Friday night at the bowling alley there was a school of crunchies swimming in my knee and they were being very uncooperative. The next morning it was swollen and painful and there you are. It's Tuesday and evidently I'll be hobbling at least until next Friday the 13th when I will see the orthopedic. Luckily for me we have crutches from my son's knee injury. (Did I mention that my grandmother had knee surgery, my sister had knee surgery, my uncles and aunt have bad knees and my grandfather has bad knees? Heh heh.)
I have many books to read! I just received Northern Exposure - first and second seasons - in the mail. I am engrossed in many crossword puzzles and armed with my crossword puzzle dictionary. And don't worry - I am eating a lot. I heard that putting on lotsa weight is good for the knees.
So, ANYWAY, what does this have to do with Spring and Flings? Not much. I'm just really bored and am enjoying rambling about myself. But, just look what's happening in my backyard while I sit and puzzle, ice, eat, elevate, watch and read on my couch:
All Fun has sprung loose!
And I can't get up to put a damper on things like every good mother should!
Who here thinks that ramp looks like a good idea? If your hand is in the air you are a male under the age of 19.
Could you hear that through my clenched teeth? You see, well let me take you back to the beginning, I've got the time. I hurt my knees in high school while running track. I did not stop running when my knees hurt, I carried a jar of ice spray and just bent down, sprayed the pain away and kept running! You'd think I would have been smarter than that, but actually I am dumber than most people think. I signed up for track my junior year and my track coach caught me in the hall and chewed me out. I was a good runner, I went to states, set the school record and won most valuable runner my freshman year and the school coach wouldn't let me run on his team. As a matter of fact, he looked at me like I was a complete idiot for sneaking my name onto the list. So, THAT's how bad my knees are.
Since my junior year of high school I've had to be vewy vewy careful of exercising. For instance, I don't do lunges...if I run at all (which I have from time to time, because sometimes I can't resist) I run on a rubberized track with vewy small steps and work my way up in distance vewy vewy slowly over weeks and months. Usually I walk instead. But sometimes I bowl. Are you through shuttering and wincing??? I know, it's crazy. Friday night, through two games - in which I bowled 150 and 134, probably my best games ever, considering I bowl about once every three years - my knees were fine. As a matter of fact, I didn't even THINK of my knees, it was my neck I was worried about. You see, when I was 21 I was in a terrible car accident...er, that's another post. So, after I bowled these two harrowing games I walked to the ladies room and then *shutter, gulp* I walked back. Ladies and gentlemen, I can no longer recommend walking back from the ladies room in a bowling alley. As I returned to our spot I felt some crunchies in my right knee. Those of you who have crunchies in your knees understand. Those of you who don't - oh, go take a long run on an asphalt track and enjoy yourselves.
Usually, I have one crunchy and I can manipulate my knee and it goes back into its hiding spot. But Friday night at the bowling alley there was a school of crunchies swimming in my knee and they were being very uncooperative. The next morning it was swollen and painful and there you are. It's Tuesday and evidently I'll be hobbling at least until next Friday the 13th when I will see the orthopedic. Luckily for me we have crutches from my son's knee injury. (Did I mention that my grandmother had knee surgery, my sister had knee surgery, my uncles and aunt have bad knees and my grandfather has bad knees? Heh heh.)
I have many books to read! I just received Northern Exposure - first and second seasons - in the mail. I am engrossed in many crossword puzzles and armed with my crossword puzzle dictionary. And don't worry - I am eating a lot. I heard that putting on lotsa weight is good for the knees.
So, ANYWAY, what does this have to do with Spring and Flings? Not much. I'm just really bored and am enjoying rambling about myself. But, just look what's happening in my backyard while I sit and puzzle, ice, eat, elevate, watch and read on my couch:
All Fun has sprung loose!
And I can't get up to put a damper on things like every good mother should!
Who here thinks that ramp looks like a good idea? If your hand is in the air you are a male under the age of 19.
Comments
Oh, and speaking of knees. I guess you read about My First Wife's knee accident back in December, right? She's all better now, so that means your crunchies should completely dissipate by, oh, October, November...