October 11, 2007

Please Stop. Just. Stop.

I received an insipid email recently. Rather than reply to it with something like: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS WAS "SEND" WORTHY?! -which is not a suggested course of action with the in-laws, for example - I am getting out my emailotional frustration by having a fit here in the safety of my blog.

Why... Why... Why do people forward these things?

How... How... How can people really believe that these types of things are true?

What... What... What possesses these people to write these innane things?

Who... Who... Who actually pushes Send and perpetuates this sappy wackiness?

Where... Where... Where do these sappy, wacky people hatch?

When, when, when are you going to read it?! C'mon! Get busy - enough lolligagging.

This one's a winner and you might even learn something life changing, something that really touches your heart.

Don't forget to copy it and post it on your blog and let the collective weeping and gnashing of teeth spread like wildfire.

Send it to the kids.....

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I wa s full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity . My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

"My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother.

Send this to at least 5 people in the next 5 minutes to show you love your mother.

If you don't then it shows you have no heart.

Always tell someone that you love them be cause you never know what day will be their last, or your own.

Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings peace...

Yeah, like I'm going to take life council from someone who doesn't know that there's no such thing as an eyeball transplant.

If I don't send it, it shows that I have no heart. But what if I mock it on my blog?

The person who wrote it was surely laughing all the while. (And probably drooling unknowingly in his lap.) Maybe it was at a drunken bash when a sorry group of stragglers found themselves around the computer at 3:23 am and decided to do something...something as stupid and snortingly funny as their collective brains could imagine at the time and this masterpiece was the result. If that's the case, fine. I can handle that. I just hope the same holds true for the people who forwarded it.

And yes, I do happen to be drooling in my lap at a drunken bash at the moment.
So don't even go there, Friend, I'm one step ahead of ya.


Paul said...

Sorry, but I couldn't read the whole thing. And even if I did, I couldn't forward that e-mail because my mother's dead, so it doesn't make any difference if I love her or not.

Speaking of Moms, this is a lot more fun. Go to Meritt's and click the YouTube on her 10.11.07 post.


Jennie said...

Oh thanks Paul - come over here and tell me where to go that would be MORE fun than here! (Can't imagine that place, really) If it's the lady singing, I've already been directed to it at least 5 times, not to mention I live it every day! lol