Rut

Oh, this should be interesting. I'm going to write a post about being in a rut - being me, Jennie, in a rut. Go, freshen your cup of tea and settle in, you don't want to miss a word. ~sigh~ I'm just tired of writing about myself, you know? I think I've come to the end. The only things left to write about are my bunions and my attraction to the color raspberry. I think I've covered everything else. Search my mind and come up dry - I can't think of anything else! I'm finding myself incredibly usual. I mean, I'm with me all the time. I'm what I know most about, sadly. And when I'm not alone with me, I'm with a kid or a husband. Occasionally, I'm with another family member, like a sister or a parent. Then just me. Then, maybe another mother at some sort of kid function. Then maybe church. Then just me. Sometimes the dog.

As I write this, my three kids are sleeping out at other people's houses, but did I know this fact this afternoon? No, so I look like the wreck of the Hespers (my mother's favorite saying) and have no time to get it together so my hubby and I might leave the compound and do something fun. I could actually write about it or maybe even do something I wouldn't write about!

I should expound (on me.) Every March I get to the point where I have one foot in the insane asylum. Exaggeration, but it's my absolute worst month. I grind my teeth in my sleep, clench my jaw, eat too much, feel like I can't take it another minute, want to hide under the covers and sleep constantly, long for meaning and direction and then April comes. I sit on my back porch in the warm sun, let it soak deeply into my flesh and breathe a sigh of relief. Everything seems to change in April. It's a yearly thing for me. March, for me, is like April for accountants, the week before Christmas for school teachers, Thanksgiving for turkeys and potatoes. Insufferable.

This March, I will say, hasn't really been too bad. I think the fact that I'm not homeschooling the boys has a lot to do with it. March is a hard month in homeschooling. You look at what you've done and what you need to do before June and it's heavy. Many homeschoolers work right through June till they're done, but frankly, my kids would have none of that. Anyway, I don't have that stressor any more, so maybe that helps. I think just generally, people want to be done with winter and change their patterns.

So here's to April, warmth and sunshine on my porch. I am waiting.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey Jen, sounds like you and I are in the same boat. Ahhh a boat. Better yet, how bout a cruiseliner? Ahhhh, a cruise. Anywhere. You pick the water, I'll bring the oar. My 2 children are all grown and out of the house so its just me and the dogs. I too wait for heat of the sun (July, perhaps?) and sit outside on my back patio and gaze upon my backyard filled with all the flowers I so painstakingly planted at the end of May and prayed to God that a frost didn't come and kill them. Wreck of Hespers... thats funny my mother-in-law says that all the time too. Too funny. You may think that you are in a "rut" but I'm here to tell you that you made me smile with your scribbles and scripts about this month of March. Scribble on my friend, scribble on!
rosemary said…
Yup, I am a Hesper wreck too...my mother uttered that saying too. I am so very tired of winter, you know it and have read it every day for months. I am tired of me. I need a really long vacation but also need someone to be here to clean everyday and love my babies. Conundrum...did I spell that right?
Paul Nichols said…
Well, first--count your blessings.

And didn't you recently come up with an idea about chronicling your family's past? I think you should.

I have a blogging buddy who has captured all of his blog posts into three small books (year by year). They're nice and will certainly become heirlooms. There's something to while away your time till April gets here.

This past year your blog has been so well written and each post so well thought out that you should do the same thing. You have excellent grammar, English and proofreading skills, too. (Thanks for presenting readable articles without insulting us with typos and the like.)

Want a P/T writing job? Something to write about that isn't you? Find a company that publishes trade magazines and ask how you can get assigned some articles. Everything from apples to Zen; inside/outside; black to white; farm to market. Believe me, there are so many trade magazines that... They don't pay real good, but they pay.
Paul Nichols said…
Also...Christian magazines of every stripe are always looking for devotionals. You'd be great at that.

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