June 18, 2008

Grooooooaaaaan. Kids' Sports.

Are people absolutely out of their soccer-ball-kickin' minds? Can I live through one more uprising of a team of hell-raisin' parents against a league and board of people (usually including my husband and this time including my brother in law too) trying to make the best decisions possible for the league, teams and children? Notice I didn't say "parents and dynasty-seeking coaches???"

Yes, I can live through it, but not without my mouth hanging wide in shock and disgust. And vodka. Sure, I've had my moments of uprising...I think...well, I've had daydreams about uprising once or twice. Sure, I've had my moments of anger and indignation mixed with disappointment and embarrassment. But I didn't flip people the bird while they were driving their kids to school.

~But once ... (I'm smiling slyly) ... when my husband was president of Little
League in town and a few numb skulls (they really were) wanted him out so they
printed up t-shirts that read Stan Must Go ... and I found out about it and when I was picking my kid up from a game I stopped my van and yelled out the window
"Hey Mike! Can I get a hold of one of those shirts? I wanna black out
some of my teeth and wear it!" And that was it...I felt much much better...and I'm sorry about the missing teeth thing...I was sorta conjuring up a back woods kind of backward person and that was the first thing that came to mind. I don't have anything against missing teeth or back woods people of course, it just came spewing out of my mouth before I could check to see if it was politically correct.~
Anyway, there is going to be an uprising tonight at the soccer meeting because the board decided to allow a certain man to take over the coaching position of another man who's been coaching a certain team for a few years. The guy taking over is the most experienced coach in the league but the former coach's wife is the most hysterical (I wish I could write that word very large in some hysterical font like 'Matisse' or 'Chiller') and she's going around town vomiting her hysteria on anyone who will listen. She must have lost at least 10 pounds since Thursday with all her vomiting about the evil board members who have secret agendas to destroy her life. It's okay, don't worry, she's got a few pounds to go. Oops, there I go again.


It's just that I cannot take it any more. This is what I do not understand:

1) How people think that when they volunteer to do a job such as coaching in an association, that a team then becomes "Coach Bob's" team, rather than Happytown's Soccer Association's team.

2) How some people refuse to acknowledge that others have a right and a duty (especially when they're on a board) to follow their good consciences and to even vote according to their beliefs (oh, and the rules of the association). This, in our society - it seems to me - is no longer allowed! People must vote according to the way their vote will make another person feel. New ground rules, just lettin' you know. You heard it here first: Vote, make decisions, act and believe according to the feelings of others. So in November, it may be prudent to try and figure out which candidate is going to throw the smallest hissy fit when they lose and, please do us all a favor: Vote for the other guy.

And 3) How a wife can think that the more hysterical, rude, angry, pouty, pissy and unreasonable she becomes and the more she screams things like, "They fired my husband! They don't respect my husband! They have an agenda against my husband! They did backdoor deals against my husband! They think my husband isn't a good coach!" the more she and her beloved husband look um bad and the more it serves to make the board members think they might have made an awesome decision.

Uh, these things give me agita. I have really gotten to look at kids' sports with a critical, even negative eye. Something makes me think that there are better ways of learning all these "skills" that children's sports are supposedly responsible for. You know, leadership, teamwork, hard work...I'm thinking there are more useful and less harmful ways of teaching kids (and uhh, adults) those things. Meanwhile, let the kids organize neighborhood games and hash it out themselves. They'll learn more there anyway.

And if the parents need some replacement activities, let them walk over burning coals, pull out their fingernails with pliers & bang their heads against cement walls.


Paul Nichols said...

Other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, did you enjoy your trip to Texas?

Jennie said...

Well, all's well that ends well. The parents came to the meeting and brought a lawyer with them who performed a character assassination upon the new coach so he stepped down, completely humiliated and ashamed of putting his name in the hat. So...my trip stunk all around. Life is interesting...the good and the bad...very interesting.

Squeeky wheels 1 - soccer board 0.