June 28, 2008

Wizening

I thought it was probably MS. The site said that it often starts with pain in one of the eyes and sadly, I've had pain in one of the eyes for quite some time. I've stopped wearing my contacts and it feels like there is a thumb pressing down on my left eye. Even my eye socket hurts. That can't be good and is probably indicative of a severe infection or a brain tumor somewhere in my facial region or on a nerve that ends up there. Could be anything, but most likely fatal or debilitating.

Finally, resigned to my horrible fate and worsening condition, I made an appointment with my eye doctor. I've been wearing contacts for 31 years, hard gas permeable, and though these aren't the most comfortable ones a person could wear, I've not had any trouble. So why would trouble start now?

Because I am wizening. Drying out. Aging on the bone. My eyeballs are parched and when your eyeballs are parched, a hard plastic thing scraping around between them and the lids tends to make someone think they're dying of multiple sclerosis. Well, someone with a computer and a lot of time on her hands.

So $120 later I drove to the pharmacy and bought new drops, the kind that are individually wrapped. Only in America. Or, maybe they're elsewhere too but it's got to be the doings of an American. About 6 drops of fluid are contained in each plastic dropper and then - into the trash. I imagine some great big factory making tons of plastic thingamajigs containing miniscule amounts of water. It seems beyond absurd, like, how crazier can the world get if we've already arrived at individually wrapping 6 drops of liquid?

Also, he thinks I may have a sinus condition completely unknown to me. 9 times out of 10 when there's pain on the eyeball and the optometrist can't see anything wrong it's the sinus. He pointed to his cheeks with two fingers on his left hand and said, "You have six sinuses. Here," moves his hand, "He- oops! Wait," he looked embarrased at his mistake, "here," he said correcting himself and pointing to his eyebrow area, "and there are some deep behind that."
"Maybe I'll start using my husband's Neti pot," I said offhandedly. I guess this caught him by surprise and he looked like he wanted to laugh aloud, but turned back to his desk and fumbled with his pen and chart, "you could do that," he said politely. I couldn't tell if he didn't know what a Neti pot was or did know what a Neti pot was.

I am glad to know I don't have MS, glaucoma or a brain tumor yet. Eye drops three times a day, a daily swish of the sinuses with some salty water and severely restricted internet surfing and I'll be as good as new.

2 comments:

rosemary said...

Uhh, jennie.....why not call your doctor too....just in case the optometrist that forgot where your sinus cavities are was a tiny bit wrong and you have Denju fever or a tick or something?

I got a Neti pot and thought I was going to drown. Not sure I used it correctly.

Paul Nichols said...

Whatsa Neti pot?