* Watering my friend's plants while she's away because my teenager can't get out of bed to do the job he said he'd do.
* Driving over a 6 year old's scooter in the driveway with my van, which is now in the shop getting $240 worth of work done.
* Soaking my feet in a pot of cold tea because Dr. Oz on Oprah said it would stop feet from sweating and ruining my leather sandals.
* Screaming in pain in a small peaceful room while a friendly 20 year old rips hair from my body.
* Sitting at the pool getting darker and darker and darker and darker, not to mention wrinkles and general sun damage, because my gypsy skin refuses to recognize or respond to the ingredients in sunblock.
* Laying in bed trying to decide whether I'd rather hear the buzz of the fan or the clamour of the window air conditioner all night, uncomfortably hot either way.
* Having a personal conversation with my best friend on the front porch while bored children mill around our ankles, collapse in chairs beside us, tease her lap dog, and yell from nearby trees that we need to see something really neat every 4 minutes.
* Don't even get me started about the parade and nine thousand parties and events we're attending tomorrow.
* Dreaming of this....