July 26, 2008

Though Not in the Belfry

I walked yesterday morning, came home, did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen. Wanted to enjoy the remainder of my iced latte with a bit of a reading on my glorious front porch furniture from ShopRite, so I hopped up to my bedroom to grab my books.

It's amazing, the mind, isn't it? It can spot something odd in a familiar room within .36 seconds of entering. There was something brown in my window and within two seconds I was headed back downstairs to call Stan. "Come to the bedroom NOW and don't think it's for fun."

I stood and watched it liked this as I waited for Stan to come. Then it shifted position, which was horrendous and hideous. Sorry, but bats are like big spiders, house centipedes, camel crickets that hop sideways and wacky-like in my basement - incongruous with the mind of a human being. I can't see them as anything but nightmarish when they are invading my territory. Don't even get me started on the flying squirrel that once ran across my pillow as I slept. Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh. OOoo! Blehhhfinic!

I tried to get his evil face here, but only succeeded in showing my dirty window. I assure you, I've just cleaned the downstairs windows this month and the upstairs is next on my list. I always wonder how the windows get so dirty, don't you? I mean, it rains and what? Elves throw mud at my window?

Then Stan tried to capture, dislodge, trap, I don't know but it was gross. At one point bat urine ran down my window, okay? I mean, what did I do to deserve a 16 year old driving son and bat urine running down my bedroom window all in one week? It's taken till I was 43 to truly consider the possible benefits of psychological medication. I get it now. Sometimes things are just too much.

Anyway, finally Stan decided that he'd call Animal Control because they like to test bats for rabies and we like to have them tested when they've found their way into our house, just in case they've chewed on us in our sleep. Also Stan prefers not to have to capture bats himself, especially when he goes out on the roof for a better angle and gets swarmed by bees making a nest in our eaves.

Jennie and Stan's Wild Kingdom Area.
Free admission. Bring a net.

Then Ruby came up and nosed her way into the situation while I watched the thing to make sure it didn't get out. How I'd have stopped that, I haven't the faintest. Perhaps I would have scared it back into place with my wild banchee holler. Believe me, I would not be such a pansy if this were in my yard or tree or garage. Whatever! A bat, who cares? But something about my house and bedroom. No thank you. Please stay out if you're a hideous creature.

Finally the Animal Control guy came with nothing but a coffee can and a smile. I closed the door behind me as I left him and Stan in our room. I figured out how it got in - the window air conditioner, there was a gap. The guy took our name and information in case the thing is found to have rabies. Then we'll all go on shots and stuff...just as the whooping cough was beginning to wane.

Bat urine on my window. I mean, c'mon.


CRAIG and DIANE said...

I'm sorry Jennie, but I am laughing so hard at your description of the bat ordeal. How long did it take for Animal Control to get out there? I would not have been able to stay in the same room with it long enough to take even one picture. Never a dull moment at your household, thank goodness for iced lattes, my saving grace as well!

Paul Nichols said...

What will you do if you find a snake in there?

This was an entertaining and well-written read. I wish I could say the same thing for your Word Verification word. "nlaqjmof"

Mom said...

That is a scary story!