Hershey Park Happy



Years ago there was a commercial about Hershey Park that had a song "Hershey Park happyyy!" We decided we needed some of that.

Interesting...Hershey Park had characters dressed up as Reese's cups and Hershey bars and people were actually posing with them. Do you understand that? I don't. These "characters" don't have any personality, like Mickey or Yosemite Sam. You walk up to a Reese's man or even a Jolly Rancher - you have no idea what you're gonna get. You wouldn't catch me hugging a Twizzler. And I don't understand gift shops full of candy characters and paraphernalia. I do not need a Hershey kiss stuffed animal. At all. Very odd. Another thing I noticed. How come all the fun kid's stuff ends in "ey." Disney. Hershey. Milton Bradley. Mickey. Looney Tunes. Dorney (An amusement park near here.) I'm thinking about spelling my name Jenney. I think I'd be much more fun.

It was fun at Hershey, for sure. I was happy to go on this pretty Ferris wheel until I actually got on it. Why are my fears increasing as I age? Only, exponentially so? Sean opted out. We got to the top of the landing where we would board and he started to say, "Um. I don't want to do this." So he and Stan went back down and Seth, Luke and I went alone.

Luke and I decided it made us feel a tad afraid to be suspended like that.
Seth liked opening the little, tiny plastic doors that separated us from death and then laughing at me slipping into coronary attack and flailing my limbs out like a falling baby. I almost started teasing him about raiding his little brother's closet for his own hand-me-downs and then wearing them to amusement parks, but he would just open that door again, so I stayed quiet.

There's Sean and Stan in green walking below. And see that giant funnel on the left? We went in one of them. It was like being flushed down a toilet. It's like...you go to an amusement park to do all the things that in your normal life you try your best to avoid.
And speaking of that. I went on this, the Great Bear, with the boys twice. Why? I must harbor some horrible guilt and angst to allow them to talk me into joining them for such torture. Notice the legs hanging - up. This is one of those things you sit on and your legs flap in the breeze while you're turning loops and corkscrews and 124 ft drops. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, but I was green around the gills both times. Two minutes and 15 seconds of sheer confusion. Normally, I try to steer clear of confusion, but that day I said, "Sign me up. I'd like to be flung, flipped, spun, twirled, flushed and projected please. And all at once, if possible. Oh and I'd like 2/3rds of my precious offsprings to accompany me."


In the end, though, it's all about the food, isn't it? Cotton candy. Dippin' Dots ice cream. Pretzels. Hot dogs. Pizza. Hamburgers. Fries. Popcorn. Seth and I even scoped out a Dunkin Donuts on site for iced lattes. Everything but chocolate, ironically.

Comments

Paul Nichols said…
That last paragraph just added 1/2 an inch to my waistline. And there wasn't even any chocolate.

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