That's it. That's all I want to lose, is this so hard? Yes, when you do not stop eating so much. I am a stress eater. I have never ever uttered these words, "I'm so stressed/depressed/worried/tired/full I can't eat." I've always longed to be one of those wimps who say, "Oh, I've lost 20 pounds. I just can't eat. I'm just too ______." Who are those people? Where do they come from? Sorry if you're one of those wimps. Know that I secretly admire you.
I eat when I'm stressed. It's what the doctor ordered. It's what makes perfect sense to my imperfect, nonsensical self. As a matter of fact, when I felt morning sickness during all three pregnancies - I ATE! Because my mind works like this: discomfort + Jennie = food consumption. I seek comfort and balance and numbness through food. So I have gained 10 pounds in the last couple years and I'm lucky it's not 50! I do acknowledge that. I am blessed with some sort of decent metabolism even with low thyroid and all of my eating quirks and issues. But this is it. I even got a little poundage ticker and put it on my blog knowing full well that when I back myself into a corner I usually rebel against my goal. That's a whole other hour in the psychologist's chair. Let me concentrate on one pressing issue at a time.
Okay, I am actually going on a diet. I don't "diet" in general, but I've chosen something that's very close to the way I eat naturally minus the junk that I may binge on at every turn, but that needs to go. I'm 44, there's heart disease and diabetes looming in my family. Not to mention knee problems and arthritis that I already have in my left ring finger! It's time to put away the jelly beans. I'm loosely following The Omega Diet. It is a healthy Mediterranean type diet and there are a ton of simple choices for each meal and the meals are pretty much what I eat every day.
I'm going to be really crazy now and set a date. June 30th. 10 pounds by June 30th. 10 pounds by 2010 would be nice too, but I'm going to light a fire and say by June 30th. Not that this has any bearings on you, you understand. I just need to say it. Plus, I like tickers. I think they're cute.