April 4, 2009

Meme from PaulPaul

How to operate this meme:
Post six random funny things about other people. Like I've done.
Then tag six other bloggers to complete a meme of their own (see below).
Link back to me, too, cuz I tagged you first.
Your random funny things MUST be funny! Make us laugh! We don't care if we really shouldn't be laughing...but that will earn you extra points.

1. Once a man we know was standing on a dock with his son and pointed out into the channel in front of them. He said, "Oh, look at the ferry way out there." His son perked up, "A fairy?! Where?" The man cocked his head, looked down at his son strangely and pointed, "Right there." "Where!? I don't see it!" "It's right there! Right in front of us!" The boy asked, frustrated, "Is it on that boat?!"

2. Once my sister put a drinking glass over her mouth and sucked the air out of it and let it hang there on her face at the dinner table. The next few days she went to school with a big perfectly round purple circle from nose to chin.

3. Once a young boy I- knew/know/not tellin' who - had a bad case of diarrhea and was standing at the potty going #1 when suddenly - all in one moment - he sneezed and painted the wall behind him.

4. Here's a story that my best friend Jane and I laughed about every day of our young silly lives. (This story and 9,000 others.) I used to spend the summers in a town called Newport and one day Jane and I were in a store and she happened to be wearing my NEWPORT TRUCKING t-shirt and a lady saw the shirt and said to Jane, "Oh, are you from Newport?" And Jane replied, pointing to me, "No. She's Jennie."

5. Once at a family reunion my very fragile, skinny, old Great Aunt Nora got up out of her director's chair in my Aunt Nancy's basement and teetered over to the spread. She filled up her paper plate and teetered back across the room, turned around, and slowly lowered herself back into her director's chair. It tipped backward as she sat and, with the entire room watching helplessly, she fell backward with her plate in hand right into a bean bag chair on the floor behind her. There was one hushed moment of fear and then the entire room burst into laughter at old Aunt Nora laying on a bean bag chair, heels up in the air, covered in potato salad. We were all so relieved she wasn't broken.

6. Tell me if this is an urban myth. It sounds too good to be true. My hubby's friend from grad school came to visit last fall and at dinner he told this story (and the one about the ferry/fairy too): He was at a business convention and the speaker gave the room an icebreaker exercise - he told the room to break into groups and tell their group something about themselves that no one else had probably ever experienced.

One man in Craig's group, we'll call him Stu, stood up and began his story, "I bet no one here has ever been shot, stabbed and had a bone broken by three different members of their family on the same day." The group hushed to listen and soon the entire room was listening too. The man said that he went to a family get-together and one of the cousins wanted to show off his new gun. He was handing it to Stu who wouldn't take it because he believed it to be loaded, but the cousin kept insisting it wasn't and finally pulled the trigger, shooting Stu in the leg by accident.

Stu's family immediately began freaking out and arguing over what they should do, call an ambulance or drive Stu to the hospital. Stu's uncle finally threw Stu over his shoulder and began running toward his Cadillac but he tripped and fell, driving his own shoulder into Stu's breastbone, breaking it. The family managed to get Stu into the back seat of the car and Stu was taken to the hospital, losing consciousness on the way because of the overwhelming pain.

He awoke in the hospital to a policeman standing over him who was asking him obligatory questions about the gunshot wound. Stu explained the gunshot accident and then the breastbone mishap and the policeman asked, "Okay, and what about the stab wound?" "Stab wound?" Stu looked around the room, shocked and confused. His father stepped out from the corner with hesitation, "Uh, yeah, that was me. On the way to the hospital I wanted to see how bad the gun shot was so I took out my pocket knife and began cutting his pants..." The car hit a bump. Stu's thigh was sliced open. Craig said the entire room fell out laughing for 15 minutes.

I tag Rosemary, Ember, Mom, Kristin, Lea, and Diane - my whole blog roll!


rosemary said...

I'm not a terribly funny lady, but I will try.

Paul Nichols said...

Pretty good stuff.

What is 'maus?'
Word verification: mausness.

Janell said...

Your meme is HILARIOUS! (I bounced over here from Paul's)

rosemary said...

all done...I cheated and only did 4...not very funny, but I did my best....don't want to embarrass you.

Hubba said...

I like vomit/ diarhea combo stories myself, because the protagonist always gets confused about which end to point where and... well you get the idea.