Calgon Can't Save You Now

Does this look like the face of a Bernese Mountain Dog willing to forgive? She'd just had a bath, only the second bath of her 2 years and I doubt she can remember the first one. I do think she'll remember this one.

She was just chilling under the picnic table.....


And she started to smell trouble. And then I got a treat, started the hose, put her on a choker collar and leash, sat down on a little stool next to the soap and all H-E-Double Doggy Fangs broke loose. No pictures of that because the whole family was trying to keep her from strangling herself on the tree and wash her at the same time. Did you know that Bernese Mountain Dogs are pulling dogs, they're meant to pull carts their own weight up snowy mountains of Switzerland? In New Jersey, leashed around the rough bark of a maple tree, that strength translates into this:

Permanently missing knuckle skin and the sudden appreciation of having a full working set of fingers. If we'd had her on a harness that tree would be travelling up the Garden State Parkway by now.
I had a Great Dane once, a beautiful girl named Josie. "Josapheeny Foo Foo," I liked to call her because she was so pleasant, so cooperative, so reasonable, so clean because she actually respected the hose and her mother. Oh. Sorry. I'm off track, aren't I.
Ruby got clean too. She finally relented and if I kept a gentle hand rubbing away at her tummy, she allowed us to wash her while still insisting on strangling herself at intervals. But she loosened up and I'm willing to bet she'll let us do it again someday before she's old and gray.

Oh sure, look, after she's all pretty and clean she trots around the driveway like nothing ever happened at all. Kind of like the time I was 8 months pregnant with Sean and Luke sat on my lap while he had blood taken and fought it for a good 15 minutes, then threw up all over me in his panic, only to finally give in and exclaim with a smile, "That didn't even hurt!"


Been there, done that, Dog. We'll see who wins next time...

I'm betting on the professional groomer.